Introduction
This basic exercise is based on the idea that depression isn't caused by
circumstances themselves, but by the way people respond to them. It's said that
people can be hurt, shocked and traumatized by circumstances, but the extent to
which we will go into a long-term depression over them will depend on factors
such as how hopeful we are that things will get better, and how much control we
feel we have over our circumstances.
The way we feel about even very bad circumstances can depend to a large extent
on our thinking style. If we keep thinking, "The situation's hopeless! My life's
ruined", for example, we'll feel far worse about exactly the same situation than
if we think, "Right! I'm going to sit down and work out ways I can combat this
problem!" While the negative thoughts will cause depression, the same situation
won't cause depression if we resolve to sort out the problems and are confident
we can.
This exercise illustrates the way in which bad situations can be made far more
damaging for a person simply by the way they think about them, and shows how
circumstances can seem a lot less bad simply by a change in the way people think
about them. Usually, even a very bad situation won't be hopeless, but you may
think it is if you're often depressed, partly because you're used to thinking
that way. But thinking habits don't have to stay that way.
Psychologists say that depressive people also often think the worst when
something good happens, such as dwelling on the possibility that it won't last.
They tend to develop exaggerated views of how disastrous bad things are, and can
often take more blame than they should when things go wrong, and not take the
credit due to them when things go right.
It won't be your fault if you have such negative thoughts. It's partly learned
behaviour. Like a destructive habit. But it can be changed. Here's how. Look at
the ways you can think of the same things in totally different ways in the
following scenarios, ways which could either affect your mood positively or
negatively. Hopefully, they'll inspire you to change your thinking style from
negative to positive. Some of the illustrations are comparatively trivial, but
they nevertheless get the point across that exactly the same situation can be
thought of in very different ways according to the way people think.
Consider how you could respond differently in each of these situations:
Scenario
1
You get bad grades at school.
The way a depression might make
you think:
I'm no good at schoolwork. My life's ruined! I'll never amount to anything.
Possible alternative perspectives:
1. I didn't study hard enough. I'll make sure I do better next time. (Or if that
was the final exam), I'll find another route to success. I could join an
apprenticeship scheme for something. Or I could go to college and re-take my
exams there.
2. The questions were particularly difficult, and actually a lot of the class
didn't get very good marks, so it obviously wasn't just me who thought they were
hard.
3. The exams were very close together and I just didn't have time to revise
everything. Unfortunately, a lot of the questions were on subjects I didn't have
time to revise. The school ought to organise exams better.
4. I found it difficult to concentrate while I was supposed to be revising
because something worrying had happened recently and I kept being distracted by
thinking about it. Hopefully next time, there won't be so many upheavals in my
life so I can concentrate better.
5. I had an incompetent teacher. Hopefully, the ones I have in future will be
better.
Scenario 2
You have a job interview and get the job.
The way a depression might make
you think:
All the other candidates must have been absolutely no good at all if they picked
me! I probably won't do a very good job of it. And the job market is so insecure
anyway that this job probably won't last very long, and then I'll be out on the
scrapheap!
Possible alternative perspectives:
1. I feel sure I was a strong candidate and probably impressed them. As far as I
know, this is a stable organisation that I'm likely to be with for some time if
I do well. And if I am made redundant, the experience I gain here will mean I'm
more likely to get another job.
2. I didn't do as well as I could have done at the interview, but they obviously
liked me. I seemed to get on well with them, which is a hopeful sign for the
future since I'll be working with them. Being trained to do the job will
increase my talents, so if I do happen to be made redundant at some point, I'll
be more useful to other companies and so I'm more likely to get a job in the
future.
3. Yes, maybe if there had been more candidates, there would have been a
stronger one than me who would have got the job; but now I'm in, I can show them
what I can do! I know I have talents in this line of work. And there's always a
demand for the kind of thing this organisation provides, so I can't see that
there's a high likelihood of being made redundant really.
4. I think I can congratulate myself, because I put a lot of effort into
interview preparation, finding out about the company, thinking through why I'd
like to work there, and contemplating how I could best illustrate to them that I
could do the job. It obviously paid off! I can be quite pleased with myself.
This is quite possibly my first step to success! I might even be promoted and
become an important member in the organisation one day in the future. I know
I'll be dedicated and committed in all likelihood, because I do like doing this
type of thing, and so I'll probably do well. And I won't worry about redundancy
unless it ever happens; time enough to think about it then; no point worrying
over something that might never happen!
5. I know I did quite well at the interview. They were probably also impressed
by my qualifications and previous experience. I know I can do this job because
I've done it before. And if I am made redundant, I know my qualifications and
experience will give me an advantage when searching for something new.
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